Dascha Versus the Technology Gods

My day in HP hell

Image by OpenClipart-Vectors from Pixabay

Is it me, or does everything really have to be this hard? For some reason, far too often, technology finds a way to fail me.  For example, whenever my lawyer sends me a PDF document, requiring me to print it off, my printer refuses to comply. Every. Damn. Time. I then have to interrupt my day to trek down to the lawyer's office to pick up a hard copy of said document.

But that isn’t what ticked me off enough to write this particular blog post. Today, my printer/scanner took me to a new level of hell. I have an HP printer. Although it has a perfectly lovely scan button, it's impossible to actually scan a document by pressing it.  Instead, the screen demands that I open HP Smart on my computer and run the scan via the app. This is where the fun began this morning, when I needed to scan documents from Jace’s recent hospitalization for an insurance claim.

I opened the app, which I've used only occasionally to date. It asked me if I wanted to send information to HP about the app to help make it better. I clicked no. The screen flickered, then asked again.  And again and again. I tried saying yes, thinking maybe it was trying to strong-arm me. Same result.

I rebooted the computer, ran the app repair, and completely reset the app twice. No dice. I remained in HP hell. Then I made the mistake of trying to contact customer support. Even after Googling it and finally tracking down the website, the closest I could get to a real person was their virtual assistant. It ran me through a list of limited and unhelpful options. When I replied that my problem wasn’t in the list, it said it was sorry it hadn't resolved my issue and kicked me to the curb—all in under sixty seconds. At least it was quick.

So I got my youngest son in on the act. He can usually figure out my computer problems. He went through all the steps I had, minus the virtual joke (I mean assistant), and suggested I delete the program.

By this time, I had spent more than two hours trying to scan three sheets of paper.  Thanks HP.

I gave up.  I got out my trusty Samsung phone,  took pictures of the damn papers, and emailed them to the insurance company.

I'm wondering if this kind of thing happens frequently to other people or if I've somehow pissed off the technology gods.  Maybe if I feed my printer more expensive paper, it will like me better. I hope my phone didn't hear me a suggest giving the printer preferential treatment. It already turns my alerts off randomly. Maybe I’ll move to a low-tech commune until I figure out how to appease the gods.

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I actually wrote this post a while back. Jace hasn’t been back in hospital in a few months (knock on wood). It just took this long for me to get it scheduled. I’d really like to hear about your adventures in technology. That is, if you think the tech gods won’t come after you!

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