“Carry me, Daddy”
“You’re a big boy, Charlie. You can walk by yourself.”
“Daddy, can we watch a movie together tonight?”
“It’s too late to start a movie. Just go play until bedtime.”
“Hey, Dad. We need another guy for a pick-up game. Can you play?”
“I’m busy, Charlie. Close my office door, will you?”
Walt looked back at his son, a gnawing abyss of pain opening up inside his chest. “Charlie, I don’t remember your childhood like that at all. If I did those things…”
“Dad,” Charlie interrupted, “I don’t either. Those are examples of things you never said to me when I was growing up. I heard every one of them from my friends’ fathers, though.”
As the abyss receded, leaving Walt shaken but relieved, he asked, “Then what’s all this about son?”
“Dad, you’ve always been there for me, no matter what I needed. And I need something big now.”
What did Charlie need that he felt he had to ask like this? Walt admitted, they hadn’t talked a lot recently—not since Charlie had started traveling for his new job. But he thought his son knew he could ask him anything.
“Okay, Son, I’m listening. Would you like a drink while we talk?”
“No thanks, Dad.”
After a long moment in which Walt’s son seemed to be deliberately making him wait, Charlie’s face collapsed into a toothy smile. “Dad, Diane and I are getting married. I’d like you to be my best man.”
It was Walt’s turn to make Charlie wait while he regained the ability to form words. He stammered out a yes, then said, “What about Jay?”
Charlie laughed as Jay, who had obviously been listening from the next room, poked his head through the doorway. Charlie’s best friend, marched into the living room carrying one end of a banner. The rest of their group traipsed in behind, with Marcus, bringing up the rear, holding the other. Walt’s eyes blurred with tears as he read the words written on the banner.
Mr. Griffin. You’re the Best Man.
This came to me as I was thinking about starting a story with someone flipping the channel on a series of news stories about the death of someone famous. My rebellious creative alter ego had something else in mind.
Though I wasn’t thinking about it while writing, my father was my oldest brother’s best man when he got married.
As Dad told the story (completely different from this fictional one), when David asked him, Dad said, “I thought your best man was supposed to be your best friend.” David answered, “You are my best friend.”
I’ve never asked David for his version of their conversation. Maybe I’ll bring it up next time we talk.
Time spent with our children when they are young is another example of time spent wisely and well.
When I was first on my own with the girls, after a very traumatic end to my marriage, I put us into counseling. At the getting to know you session, she asked the girls how they got time to talk with me. When they said they just ask, she worded her question another way. She asked what if I was reading or watching TV and they looked at her confused... and said we just sit down and start talking. You see, when they were small, I was watching a TV evangelist, not one I was fond of or ever watched before or again, so I guess the message was meant for me. He said when your kids want to talk to you, put down the book or paper, turn off the TV, wake up! The book and paper will wait for you, the show will run on reruns but that moment with your child, if you lose it, will be lost forever. And even now, with them grown and mothers themselves, they only need to call. There is nothing more important than being their mom. Sure, there were moments I couldn't be interrupted but because I was so readily available, they never were concerned about having to wait. Also, I never tried to be their friend. I decided they'd have hundreds, if not thousands, of friends in their lifetime but they would ever only have one mom. I know life could have turned out differently and they could have had a stepmom but for me this is how it worked out and I've never regretted one moment lost to them. Clearly, I think this story carries a very important message. Thank you for writing it.
That's really special, thanks for that image.