High School Heist
“Do we have to go to this?” I hated family functions. I mean, seriously hated them. Give me a murder any day. Maybe I should explain that.
I’m a homicide detective and I love my job. Bringing a murderer to justice is the most fun I can have in a day. It beats the hell out of attending a kid’s birthday party, anyway.
“He’s your nephew, Jill. And you skipped out on the last two family functions, leaving me to represent us at your family’s parties. Not mine. Yours.”
Marilyn, my girlfriend, wasn’t very happy with me right now. I kept listening for the scream. Not Marilyn’s—my phone’s. I loved my ringtone. Marilyn hated it. Right about then, I’d have given anything to have it go off. Where was a good murderer when you needed one?
“Don’t look at your pocket. You’re going to this party.”
Marilyn said it like she meant it. There was no getting out of this. I had been condemned to family party hell. On the bright side, one of them might kill Uncle Jack and I could file for overtime.
In the car on the way to my brother’s house, I suddenly realized I didn’t have a gift for the kid. I swung the car around, heading for the nearest toy store.
Marilyn, way ahead of me, as usual, laughed. “First, I already bought something. It’s in the back seat.”
When she didn’t continue, I gritted my teeth, setting the car back on course, and asked, “And second?”
“And second, Max is sixteen. Something from the toy store isn’t going to cut it.”
“How can he be sixteen already?” I sighed. Maybe I should pay more attention. Maybe I should show up at more family functions. I shuddered at the thought, glancing down at my pocket again. Damned phone. Never rang when you needed it to.
~~~
I pulled into my brother’s driveway, blocking his truck in. My car didn’t fit all the way in, but close enough. Marilyn reached into the back seat, grabbing a perfectly wrapped gift.
“Put your phone on vibrate. We don’t need it going off during the party.” Marilyn was still tetchy about my ringtone. To be fair, I had said I would change it. You can’t rush these things.
“Kind of small, isn’t it?”
Marilyn rolled her eyes. “It’s the video game he asked you for at Christmas.”
“You expect me to remember? That was months ago.”
I felt vindicated when Marilyn got out of the car without answering. She headed straight for the front door without waiting for me. At least I got to watch her sexy walk. Except she was stomping, not sexy-walking.
~~~
An hour into the party and Uncle Jack was already sloshed. I sipped my Coke Zero, still hoping for a reprieve. Marilyn was on her second glass of wine.
“Thanks for the game, Aunt Jill.” Max was over the moon. Seems Killer Zombies 14 was the hottest game on the market right now. “You’re the best.”
“Thanks, kid. Glad you like it. Don’t call me ant. You know I detest those creepy, crawly things.”
Searching for something else to say to Max that didn’t involve murder, I asked, “So how’s school going?”
“Okay,” he answered. Max was an A-student and captain of the basketball team. I had to look way up. “Except for someone stealing Blinky.”
“What’s a Blinky?”
“He’s our team mascot. He’s a six-foot stuffed rooster. Because…”
“Yeah, I get it. Sunrise High. A rooster for a mascot.”
Everyone but me jumped out of their skin as a scream tore through the house. Marilyn glared at me from across the room. I grabbed my phone, but it sat quiet in my hand. Damn. That meant someone had actually screamed. I shrugged my shoulders, looking as innocent and falsely accused as I could.
I realized the sound had come from the kitchen. Making my way past Uncle Jack, who now lay sprawled, half out of his chair, I pushed the kitchen door open. Sue, my brother’s wife, stood at the counter, staring at the dog whose unrepentant face was covered in birthday cake.
“Well, that kinda sucks,” I said. I was just about to offer to go out and buy a cake when another scream split the air.
“I told you to turn that to vibrate,” Marilyn said from behind me. She whispered in my ear, “This is turning out like all your family functions. Answer it and let’s get out of here.”
“You’ve got Hess,” I growled into the phone.
My captain’s voice growled back at me. “There’s a body on the grounds of Sunrise High. Get over there.”
“On my way,” I said, grinning. “You’ll never guess where the call is.”
“I heard,” Marilyn said, stealing my thunder. “Sunrise High.”
“That’s awesome!” Max’s grin matched my own. I’d forgotten how cool this kid was. “Can I tag along, Jill?”
“Aunt Jill to you.”
I glared at my brother. “Just Jill. And sure, kid. We just have to drop Marilyn home first.”
~~~
The school driveway was crowded for a Saturday. I bypassed the cars parked there and left my car on the lawn behind the building. Phil, in charge of traffic control as usual, glared at me as I walked by. Sheesh. You think the guy would be grateful he didn’t have to worry about my car.
Frank, my partner, was already on scene. He passed me a coffee. I handed off my Coke Zero to Max.
“Um, I’d like a coffee,” Max said, shaking the empty Coke can.
“Really? What are you, twelve?” Frank said like he was talking to…well…a twelve-year-old.
“He’s sixteen. It’s his birthday. Give the kid your coffee.” I tipped my own cup, taking a drink. Frank took sugar in his. Probably more to Max’s taste.
Frank shot me a dirty look and Max an apologetic one. He handed over his coffee. “Happy birthday, kid.”
“What have we got?” I asked, turning my attention to the vic sprawled in the grass behind the yellow caution tape. The grass was flattened in a direct path from the parking lot. The body had been dragged here.
“Don’t know yet,” Frank answered. “Looks like he might be homeless. No ID.”
I ducked under the tape, careful not to spill the liquid gold in my cup. Frank had bought the good stuff this time. My eyes on the vic, I said, “Stay on the other side of the tape, Max.”
I heard his exaggerated sigh, then the sound of slurping. I took another slug of my own coffee. Karl was already photographing the scene.
“Has the parking lot been checked yet?” I asked.
“No. Why?” Karl waggled his eyebrows at me.
“Still batting for the other team, Karl.” I pointed to the drag marks in the grass. “Follow that and you’ll find where the perp’s vehicle was parked. There might be tracks or other evidence.”
Karl grumbled something that sounded like, “Not my job,” before letting out a sigh almost as impressive as Max’s. I stared at him until he gave in and started to follow the flattened grass back toward the parking lot.
The vic certainly looked like he could be homeless. Sprawled face down on the grass, his arms and legs lay in the positions you typically see in chalk drawings of supposed murder victims. Not very original. His shirt was worn and dirty, and two sizes too big. The frayed jeans only came down to his calves. No socks and holey canvas shoes completed the ensemble.
I bent down to examine him more closely. The back of his head had suffered blunt-force trauma. Blood matted his black hair. His hands, freshly manicured, were those of someone who’d never seen a harsh day. They smelled a bit like ether. On the ground beside him lay a single green feather.
“Hey, Max.”
Max appeared beside me. Frank started to tell him to get back, but I silenced him with a look.
“Yeah?” Max stared at the vic, wide-eyed. But the smile on his face and the twinkle in his eye said I’d just given him the best birthday present ever.
“What are your school colors?”
“Green and yellow. Why?”
I pointed to the feather. “Does that look like one of Blinky’s?”
“I mean yeah, but you don’t think this guy stole him, do you?”
I laughed. “Nah. I already know who murdered this guy. The killer just happened to dump the body near a piece of evidence for our other case.”
Frank bent down, staring at the feather. “What the hell is a Blinky? And what other case?”
“Later.” I picked up the feather and started walking in the opposite direction from that Karl had taken. Max hesitated at the body, then followed, quickly catching up to me.
Frank shouted after us. “Who killed him?”
“Later,” I repeated, hot on the trail of the kidnapper. Or should I say birdnapper?
As Max and I neared the building, I found another green feather and then another. It seems someone had been plucking Blinky. “No ransom note?” I asked Max.
“No.”
“Thought not.”
I bent down and retrieved a bit of stuffing. As we came closer to the schoolhouse, the smell of something burning assaulted my nose. We followed the smell and a trail of feathers and stuffing to the far end of building. Around the corner sat four dumpsters, smoke rising from the nearest.
“Oh, crap.” Max ran to the dumpster, lifting the lid. Smoke poured out of the remains of what had been his team’s mascot.
“I’m sorry Max.” I stared at the ruined bird, as its huge eyes creepily blinked up and down inside the remains of a badly burned face. His beak had melted into a twisted mess. “Looks like there’ve been two murders today. When did you say Blinky was stolen?”
“Yesterday.” Max looked like he was fighting back tears. “Who would do this?”
“Who’s got a grudge against your team?”
Max turned from the dumpster, his shoulders set. “Grisham!”
“The writer?”
“No. He was our captain until he got caught selling dope. Coach kicked him off the team a month ago.”
“Congratulations, Detective, I think you’ve just solved your first case.”
Though he didn’t smile, Max stood taller. As we made our way back to the other crime scene, he asked, “So who killed the homeless guy?”
“In a way, he killed himself.”
“How? Someone hit him on the back of the head and dragged him there.”
We joined Frank beside the body just as Karl returned from the parking lot.
“There’s nothing but a bunch of garbage back there.” Karl tilted his head back in the direction from which he’d come.
“Yeah. I figured.”
“So, who killed him?” Max repeated.
I saw in Frank’s eyes that he’d figured it out.
“It was street justice, Max,” I said. This guy wasn’t homeless. He preyed on the homeless. Eventually they caught up with him. He must have run onto the school property trying to escape them.”
“Wait. What?” Max looked back and forth between Frank and me.
“The guy liked to kill homeless people.,” Frank said. “He figured no one would report them missing.”
“Except the homeless community is pretty tight,” I added. “They talk to me. I’ve been looking for this guy for a while.”
“Why do they talk to you?”
I clammed up.
“Because your aunt brings them sandwiches on her days off.”
“Don’t call me ant!” I growled at Frank, not looking at either of them.
“Oh. So…” Max threw a hesitant glance at the vic. “Are they going to go to jail or something? I mean, the guy was a serial killer, right?”
“I don’t think forensics found any evidence,” Karl said. “I’ll double check that, of course.”
“Yeah. Nothing to see here,” Frank added.
“I’m afraid this case is already going cold.” I reached way up to clap Max on the shoulder. “At least we solved one murder today. A bird in the hand…”
Frank gave me a long-suffering look. “Don’t finish that sentence.”
Jill is one of my favorite characters to write. Usually I can come up with something to write about most things. With Jill, I have to wait. She comes to me with a story when she’s ready. With this story, she didn’t give up the goods to me on the vics until I reached the end. I had expected Blinky to be found alive and had no idea why the other guy had been murdered. Funny how stories sometimes tell themselves.
Please share this story if you enjoyed it. Links to Jill’s other stories can be found below (in reading order).
A modern day Sherlock for sure. 🤓
This is a fun story.