Suki channeled her pain into her art. Transformative stories and images helped her transmute damage inflicted by the callous or careless words and actions of others into healing.
She had tried and tried to push beyond the catastrophic shelling her heart had suffered when Kurt had walked out, saying he had never loved her. She’d been nothing but a placeholder for him until he found something—someone better.
Today, as she began to create yet another image of an armored heart, her inks and paints began to tell another story. An ornate, fantasy projectile weapon took shape without her consciously willing it. A dripping heart emerged where the trigger on a real gun would sit.
Tiny hearts began to appear all around the drawing as Suki felt the tightness constricting her own begin to ease. All along, she had thought she needed armor to protect her, when in truth, it was only when she armed her heart that she began to heal.
I’m so excited to share this particular story. It came about as a result of my joining Mastodon, a healthier alternative to the bird platform. (You know, the one where people “tweet.”)
Another user there who goes by the handle @bleepnik posted that they had accidentally written “armed my heart” instead of “warmed my heart.”
Well, that immediately set my imagination whirling. I created some images using that as a prompt and wrote this story to go with the one posted. I did so with the blessing of the user and they have already seen the story.
At first I thought it was a bad thing to think of arming your heart as you venture out into the world. But in a way, it makes sense. If you armor it, you are shutting others out. If you arm it, you’re able to defend yourself while remaining open. What do you think? Would you rather have an armored or armed heart?
I've read this several times and I must confess I can't relate to either. I want an open heart. I know that leaves me vulnerable but if someone chooses to be hurtful, that's on them and I can walk away to leave them behind. My idols are the dogs I see in the dog walk. They run up to someone and get a pet, then if the next one rejects them they bounce away, unfazed. Yes, they can be taught through rejection but I love the way the ones I've seen just keep on being themselves. ❤️