Insomnia
Garret listened to the sleep track with the binaural beats that were supposed to settle his brain. It wasn’t working any better tonight than it had for the last three sleepless nights. The insomnia was getting worse.
Sighing, he threw off the sheets and threw his legs over the side of the bed, feeling with his toes for his slippers. He swore as he felt one slide away, then muttered, “Screw it,” before telling Alexa to turn on the lights and heading, barefoot, to the kitchen to make himself a mug of cocoa.
He could cite the sleep protocols his doctor had given him, chapter and verse. He had tried the gentle yoga, meditations, and every other damned trick she had suggested as well. Nothing had helped, not even the night he’d spent at the sleep lab. That doctor had only confirmed what Garret already knew. He didn’t have a sleep disorder.
Garret knew exactly why he couldn’t sleep. He just couldn’t make himself bring it up to his doctor. That would make it real.
Every time he closed his eyes, he saw her face. He had no idea who she was. He'd only seen her the once. But her face remained indelibly etched in his memory—that haunted expression, that look of total despair as she looked into his eyes as he crossed the bridge on his nightly walk. As Garret desperately ran to stop her, reached out to grab her, missing by inches. As she stepped off the bridge rail and soundlessly plummeted to the icy waters below.
He had stared after her, waiting for her body to surface. But the rapid current had hidden it from him in the dark, leaving only the memory of her face.
Garret’s doctor told him he should walk. The exercise would help his sleep. Garret shook his head ruefully at the thought. He hadn’t walked since that night.
He carried his cocoa to the recliner and turned on the TV. Sipping the drink, he savored its warm, chocolate flavor, sinking into the familiar dialogue of an episode of Happy Days.
Molly, Garret’s brown tabby, climbed into his lap. He pulled a blanket over them both and eventually fell asleep to the low murmur of the TV and the rumble of Molly’s purr.
This one is for all my fellow insomniacs, though I hope none of you has as horrific a reason for not sleeping as Garret.
I've only had short bouts of insomnia in my life but they certainly did not feel short when I was experiencing them.
I have had sleep issues for years that I ignored. Now I have to deal with it. It's hard, but thanks to my rich history of gentle herbal cures and remedies, I am healing naturally.