12 Comments

This line packs a ton of plot-progressing power: "Two careers and three kids later, he was glad he had."

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Thank you! In ultrashort stories I strive to make the most of the word count available.

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A delicate balance between culling as many words as possible and still saying what you want to say. I have too many theoretical thoughts on this for the comments section :)

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I'm sure they would take more words than a microfiction. And then there are the stories told in one sentence. What do you think of this kind of story? https://fictionin50.substack.com/p/strawberry-social

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I particularly love how the one sentence in "Strawberry Social" is a bit of a run-on. There are parts where it could be broken up into multiple sentences. But because it's one long sentence, it compels the reader to read on breathlessly, and doing so with only minimal use of conjunctions, like "and" and "as."

This one of mine is technically one sentence, but it's over 300 words: https://somethingdaily.substack.com/p/the-song-of-four-friends-playing

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Oh, I love that story. I wasn't sure where to find your Substack, but now that you've directed me there, I subscribed.

Just a quick note. The grammarian in me (I'm also an editor) notes that your story truly is a run-on by definition. Strawberry Social is not. By definition, a run-on sentence lacks grammatically appropriate punctuation. It doesn't even have to be that long! So, while my sentence is quite long, it's not a run-on. :-)

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My parents were lucky to have lived in the same apartment for over seventy years. Me, too, because I returned to my childhood every time I visited them.

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I sometimes envy that, though I'm glad to have seen much of Canada as a child

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My parents still live in the house I grew up in.

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That's wonderful. I've always thought that would be a great feeling: to be able to "go home " to visit the folks. We moved a lot and my parents did some moving (separately) after the kids all moved out. No visiting a home I even lived in, let alone grew up in. Of course, I've also moved a lot, most recently in June!

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I have moved many times. But my parents stayed put. Of course, the neighborhood is different now. More run down. And there are only a handful of people left from when I grew up. They are all elderly now. It does jog memories though. And the house shrunk dramatically. 🤣

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Amazing how that happens!

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